my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

unless you feel he is better then nothing. For everything there is a season. But she is just not sexually attracted to me. I have no idea what to do. The vast majority are trained to be misandrists and far too many are grotesquely unethical. And really dont know what to do. If you are tired of initiating intimacy and are concerned that my wife wont touch me sexually, youre not alone. He will not talk about that either. Or you can try and find a willing partner. Its only going to get worse. She is intelligent and knows exactly what is going on. Another way to improve lack of sexual desire is to change things up in the bedroom. Im really suffering. by *someone!! I was active outside a few times with permission, after 7 years of zero sex, and was not having problems engaging in it, but that had to stop when I tried to help a person I was seeing was caught. However, whenever one spousewithdraws from the other, there is always a risk of your marriage being almost over. 30 years in sexless marriage. Your husband is a very lucky man. NO! When is the last time you did something romantic for her without expecting sex in return? Thank goodness we get along well in every other area, however Im at a loss. My nephews, 1x/month on average, so I dont over do with outside the marriage things at all nor overspend, AT ALL. Be truthful. The Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health published a study that found low levels of self-esteem harmed a womans sexual functions. Is it honestly your right to be given sex however your wife can give it? Your wife may not know how to put up her mom hat for the day and refocus on herself, which includes enjoying every aspect of her marriage. I cant hurt her, no way! I just gave up. Quit excusing inexcusable behaviors by your partners. What to about it: Have an earnest, exploratory conversation with each other about what sex means to you both as individuals, and then talk about how you can create a mutually satisfying sex life that works for both of you. For women its submitting to the protector of her choosing and bearing only his children. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. And ur right it is really screwed up knowing u might not get laid again or when that might be. Our world is obsessed with sex and without understanding the unity of compassion, respect, close bonds after many years of being together. Feel like I wasted my life!!! We dont have children, and we have tried everything.therapy, books, scheduling sex, talking, crying, toys, porn. Look, we have all pretty much aged our of sexual adventurism but our minds refuse to accept it. I want to divorce my husband!!! She is a poor communicator and no matter how much I ask she gives me the silent treatment and thinks its OK. Back issues and menopause have completely removed my interest in sex. Just as women receive and need emotional connection, men provide a different way of showing their connection to their woman. Make your own porn and watch that. When your wife avoids physical contact, it could be because of resentment, 13. Flirting in public! Sometimes a married woman isn't interested in having sex with her spouse because she's simply not in the mood right now. Genuinely compliment your wife and make her feel sexy again. I do not wish this upon anyone!!! At your age, dont run until you exhaust all your options. But whatever you do, never go to therapists. If he wont go, go on your own to express your feelings fully and evaluate whether you want to be in this marriage and, if so, what can be done to improve it. For senior sex news, tips, event and webinar announcements, and special offers,join Joans mailing list. I suppose that his stomach, which is huge, the fact that he cant really get hard, and the fact that sex takes forever are some of the reasons why I no longer want to have sex. She may not understand the first time around, but if you keep trying, perhaps shell understand the need to maintain a balance between her roles as a mother and a wife. If these thoughts are not at the forefront of your relational mind, well, your (our) love(s) and relationships may in fact die. I get it and don't want to add to her stress. Lets face it, as women age, many lose sex drive, along with experiencing a good number of other sexual problems. I want my wife to be happy with the experience as well. Thank God I love to ski. If you have always been the one to initiate intimacy in your relationship, take a step back and tell her how sexy you think it would be for her to be the one to reach out. Take the good with the bad. If your wife is struggling with any mental health issues, she may be less interested in sex at the moment. Susan I think many men would find your comments upsetting. She told me years ago that weve had all the kids were going to have, whats the point?. . Meanwhile. Try DHEA. I am 65 and raring to go and caopable of satisfying a woman in her 30s. There is one other medical condition relating to touch called allodynia. Sex should be mutually inclusive. People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. But now living with you is not what she thought it would be and she closes shop on you. I cant live another 30 years with him like thus. Its just not worth my time to talk to her, all I get is whining, complaining and thats exhausting. But then she had a full hysterectomy to further reduce her hormone production, and from then on, sex has all but stopped. 60s, 70s. I met a man at work a while back, he was attracted to me, he was in a sexless marriage (so he said). Im 59, wife 63 and the big M has hit her like you have said it did you. Share your feelings with your wife openly, honestly, and vulnerably without expecting it to lead to something physical. How should I phrase it? I hear a lot of men on here talk of leaving their wives over this. Zimmerman also recommends getting some time away from the kids regularly so that you can re-immerse yourselves in your identities as individuals and as a couple outside of your roles as parents. Your email address will not be published. Drugs and orgasm. And I am one of those. Why would he ever have too? Now I definitely feel more like the odd woman out after reading all those men complaining about lack of sex!I am 45 had a hysterectomy 3 years ago, so menopause was forced on me.I still feel like a horny B*** latina! BTWsome in your wifes position build great insurmountable resentment. Now that you know that this could also be the reason why your wife avoids physical contact, you need to be her rock and convince her that you still think shes as beautiful as the day when you first met her. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? 7. The sex was great but found I was working most years 2 jobs, supporting the house hold 3 kids. I am not allowed in the shower/bathroom when she is showering or changing. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. The man must rule by demanding to get what he wants. 6. If your wife wont touch you, maybe something has changed. She basically views it as an immature fixation and that as a married man I should concentrate on more important things. In fact, according to WebMD, there are multiple causes that will negatively affect the sexual desire in a woman. Depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues are all linked to lower libido, as are some antidepressants. she feels palpitation and jitters and she perspires just as the thought of it.. bottomline, my mom just wants companionship but my dad wants more. 90% of the letters I read, could have been mine. After 35 years, I want to be with my wife more than ever, not less. I demonstrate my love for her in so many ways, little notes, letters, flowers messages in song, other women including young women I work with say they would love to have someone who loves and respects their partner and relationship like I do. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. It is a great resource for relationship help. A lack of time and attention will naturally cause distance to creep into the marriage, which will take its toll on your sex life too. I miss the simple things. I though it was my age, now I am 65 look OK, but not yong any more. 2 weeks later I spoke to her again and ended up asking if she knew what I was suggesting. 9. Should be a Clause in sickness and health and sex also! Since this is our first child, I dont even know whats normal and what isnt. She is 33. Harley, I am doing none of those things. Yet even in my early 60s I have stronger desire than my partner does. It Might pass , 45 is menopausal years and I was once told by a friend older than me at the time that it can be like a light switch once you are through menopause and that can be true because what drives sexual desire , it has much to do with hormones and post menopause or during, a women losses a tremendous amount of hormones and hormone replacement ( they will many x use birth control for that) makes one sick or intolerant and I have read many articles in the past that hormone replacement can put one of high risk of cancer in older women, please I am far from a Dr. not even close, but this is what I have gathered along the way. Now its Im sore there. This is especially true of couples in their 40s and 50s, or those who have been married more than 10-15 years. I say bullshit to every man and women experiencing no sex in a relationship if they want it with their partner. Ill be living in a van down by the river if we separate. Im a 68, fun, attractive, domestic woman who loves intimacy. Doing some bootie grabbing or not being a standing up participant?!? Reality, we can go easy one yr without sex, he doesnt touch me,nada! Ive even had the gumption to suggest that if HE doesnt desire sex, then maybe he could still give me pleasure. We both have health issues What to do about it: Remember that it's OK to not want sex with your partner sometimes. We lose ourselves. I agree 100%. I had to fend for myself, and I could have done that before we were married. She wont talk about it and claims she desires no intimacy. mine forgot my birthday this year (it is 2 days before his lol) and our wedding anniversary : ( I can not compete with his online game omg he plays 24-7 so I can relate to your problem with your wife choosing the phone over you thats cold. I only wrote this, to just say it. But I have stayed true to her for our entire marriage . The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. Once you cross into the no sex zone there is NO going back. However, whenever a relationship began getting serious my body would suddenly shut down- no erection, no ejaculation, no desire. If your wife never initiates affection, it could be due to any of the reasons listed above in this article. Same exact situation here its a living hell! I want to separate from my wife of 49 years. Ive tried vacations, dates, sex toys, lubricants, vitamins, blah blah blah..when a gal is not sexually attracted to you and is generally more than willing to never have sex again cuz (insert the reason I dont understand here) shes not going to change at 70. Does your wife struggle with self-love? He doesbt accept the limitations of my back injury. Like Nike says, just do it. Be patient with her as she works on herself, and the two of you refocus on your marriage. well she decided we will not have sex, and to top it off, she has panic if she touches me and me touching her. 4. I would walk a mile in this mans shoes before I offer advice. I am guilty of that. Sorry Mate. My wife has no desire for . Look, not to give your hubby a pass here, but please, understand that most men in our country, we who were raised in the 50s. found that women had more difficulty staying focused during intimacy and lower arousal levels when under stress. My husband became disabled and had to quit his job. If your wife doesnt feel confident about her physical appearance, she may have inadvertently shut down your sex life. Same for women who refuse to engage in sex with their partners. I had a client recently who was so angry at her spouse, she said she didnt want to have any physical intimacy with her husband, If he wants to get divorced, let him get divorced, she said. I have always been an affectionate person and have given affection but not received in return for at least a year. Willsounds like you live in the stone agesworks for you.but most woman like a say in whether they would like to be touched or not. But, you must remember that this rejection of your sexual advances is often triggered by some underlying reasons. My career came to a halt after my illness, due to a stigma related to my heart problems and brain surgery. So selfish and controlling . Never once I have ever forced myself in any way on my wife. Well, I am more than happy to say that our marriage has lasted for over 56 years and I know that we are still together mostly due to the fact that we are best friends. So much hurt involved, and guilt. I do, however, feel like absolute shit about the negative impact on my husband who is six years younger than me and who has always had a high (higher than mine, anyway) sex drive. Step out of your own hurt feelings and into her world. I dont think I would like my son or daughter tell me what to do in the bedroom. This is a huge problem, how can I live with someone who feels this way? Cause it needs done. Dont know what todo he wont talk about his But it should not stop like this as it hampering your life. 3. In a long-term relationship, the partner with the higher libidowhich is not always . But his belly sticks out a lot and makes it extremely difficult to get in because of 3 things. Add to this many complications: conditioning from childhood, feeling you are being used for someone elses pleasure, not being attracted, not meeting your partner at the same emotional level. I caught her in a flirtation as she calls it, with her boss. I think he wanted to stay in his marriagemainly I think b/c his wife earns well (makes more money than him). John, where do you live, and do you play golf regularly without your wife ?