Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" I love having something witty, funny, or even sarcastic cued up in response to one of the most common questions asked in any given day. Then they can ask for details to make up their minds, or just shut you down with a no of preferred firmness if the event doesnt appeal. He taught me that its always polite to leave someone a face-saving way out of a social situation, so if you want to ask someone to go do something, give them a certain date/time, so if they dont want to go they can say sorry I have other plans without anyone feeling awkward. But then she would ask me to babysit her toddler. But most native speakers will still answer with the single word "Good.". Theres an important underlying truth here that I think we all have trouble with: We are not required to answer every question put to us. Wow is all I got. If you have plans, just say so. You might not know exactly what you want to do in life, but you certainly know what you don't want to do. Thats possibly reasonable to do with a minor child, but youre still acting to preserve a parental level of dominance over her as an adult. I ask this question all the time. And in my experience, parents of adult children dont assign their childrens plans (and wishes) the same priority as their own plans (and wishes). If not, then they'll just think you're being cheeky, which of course, you are. I dont feeling hes hitting on me exactly, though I am not answering in a way he likes/expects (am I supposed to be chatty bc Im young-ish and female? Yep, my wife and I too. "Weekends are days to refuel your soul and to be grateful for the blessings that you have." - Anonymous 2. If it doesnt work with my schedule, I will tell you. You know, I just had a *very* amusing misunderstanding with a facebook friend who was ranting about MLM (which I thought was the wlw type of MLM). You have actually internalized a very common social rule. If someone asks me the question, I am happy, because that means they are probably inviting me somewhere. as much as it is practicing not giving into pressure to give an explanation of your schedule OR an immediate answer. It feels invasive what I do on my weekends is my business. I used to feel guilty about that until I framed it in my mind that its disingenuous to ask about my weekend as entrapment instead of asking me an honest question. Great! I also ignore We should hang out soon! It doesnt replace actually reaching out to me and trying to set up plans. They know this. Ive been known to do that to friends, since Im one of those people who freaks out when I hit the wrong key and the computer does something unexpected. No, seriously, TheDukeDevlin has the correct answer. "It's Friday baby!! Except LW specifically said that with the peer-friends who are not using it as entrapment, LW doesnt find it problematic at all. Lessons in Love from Julia Roberts Movies true tho like next t inme ill say this and it will. I usually just respond with I have tentative plans with a friend why do you ask? Lots of wiggle room there. 1. Me: Nope. Not least of which, I never felt obligated to pick up on any of his hints ever again. When its done as the pre-request, I get really annoyed that the person wont just ask me directly. Shampooing the grass. Its not extreme when your life has several of those sharks who ask that just to trap you. Youve also brought up some generational preferences on communications. I was usually planning board game evenings and role playing games and I only tried to ask people whom I knew to be interested in what I was planning. 1) Let the weekend memes begin! I have less than zero interest in tutoring kids that have no interest in the subject. Ive been loving all your responses on this thread. 126 followers. Ugh. Like oh youd rather do nothing at all than do this activity with me, wow., I wish I had better boundaries around that. 2. People on a dating site who ask what youre up to on Thursday are not literally asking what youre doing Thursday. If its just a soft open to an invitation, you can be annoyed by it, or you can say, I dunno, you?. Yup. There are some funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for when your family keeps asking you the same dull questions. I know it is super common usage as a general term for silly / disorganised but its actually an ablist term which a lot of people with disabilities have had thrown at them as a slur. This comment has clarified a thing for me. So I said, Dont do this. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. An Australian tech and business journalist echoed this: "Great the new unsolicited email intro seems to be . I appreciate the suggestions about responses, having to deal with a pushy in-law (nosy for information and has a big sense of entitlement). Things have a funny way of working out. So I love this response cuz its keeping it real! Saying no at that point feels rude, and yeah some people have reacted badly. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. Oh yes, this! This is where you really have to double down on the super-beaming positive manner of absolute assurance. I just had a talk with my DD about this- she will text me do we have plans Saturday I usually respond with Why? Obviously we have a different relationship than a friend to friend thing. Bye. Sorry about that! I think that with my previous friend group culture, a sorry, Im REALLY busy for the next few weeks gets taken personally as Im too busy to maintain our relationship, even though Im trying to, um, not be homeless? Its just in the past year or so that its cropped up repeatedly, with different people at different establishments. Dont for a second feel guilty about judging a nosy male as no good if they ask nosy questions and show any sign of caring if you dont answer. Read also. Absolutely! If its as specific as Thursday, thats true, but I find when its a larger stretch like the weekend or the holidays its just as likely to be an attempt to get to know you and learn about your hobbies, interests, routine, etc, and find out if you have anything in common/have a life they find interesting/etc. Some other commenters have pointed out that sometimes people use this question as an conversation opener or in order to seem polite while they actually want to tell about their own plans. This is true, but it will almost certainly come with a cost. What you are currently doing. I guess the conclusion is, ask more directly up front, and if I know someone has a hard time saying no, make sure I explicitly say, its okay to say no, or something similar. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! On Thursday or Friday, its got any plans for the weekend? and on Monday, its do anything fun this weekend? I dont think theyre trying to find it my deep personal secrets, its on the same level as hows it going? or wow, traffic was awful this morning, huh? and I answer at that same level (oh, this and that, how bout you?). And so if it happens to me, I wind up agreeing to the thing even if maybe I normally wouldnt have, because now I have no valid excuse for declining. My cousins with kids are trying to push their 8-12 year olds on me to tutor them and Im like 1. Shes moving and needs a van? Answer vaguely. Thats just how some people ask I suppose. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. Ill do it anyway, but saying it that way doesnt make it somehow not an order, Mom! Im in my late 50s and, frankly, my plans for the weekend are likely to be boring to this younger inquirer. Even when its not meant as a hostile act (merely as an exoticising one thats so cool/I used to want to travel there/is it true that people there do x) being othered never feels welcoming. have a Canadian accent that some USians pick up, and I dont mind if people ask if Im Canadian). What did _you_ have in mind?. The one my family goes with is Surviving. I am so devoted to nail care now that it takes me 27 hours to get my tips right! I felt disliked, maybe undervalued, often embarrassed (and some of that came from my own brainweasles or ablism in broader society, not primarily my parents) but never unsafe. This is just a funny response to give because it is the opposite of what they had asked just you. 200 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Mind you, I am white and middle aged and cis-passing, if not actually middle class OR a lady, so this may not work as well for everybody Copyright 2011 thru 2023 Jennifer Peepas, all rights reserved. I get a bit awkward when people ask me that question too, because of the whole half-agreeing to plans before theyre actually exposed (I never considered it nosy personally but I can see how it might come across that way). I too wish I had the strength & Phoebe confidence to pull of that line. Now the only person allowed to see my personal calendar is my husband, who is completely uninterested. Just how I like it :). Darn, my wife wants me home early [so we can watch Netflix on the couch with our cat].. If its just to bond, asking about past activities might be an easier way to accomplish this. Ive got[an alligator to befriend, etc]. LWs letter got me thinking and i thought about using this kind of questions and realized that the only time I actually use them is with really close friends with whom I would just like to hang out or intend to make plans together. Also, that is very common; very few people I know can really remember everything they are doing for months ahead. If she wants to NOT have some other grownup setting a price on her activities occasionally, she can get a job and move out, and then I wont be saying, a couple of times a month, if youre home tonight, I need you for X.. It kind of sucks to be going about your business and then people remind you that you dont fit in. Why, whats up?, Yessss exactly. Im pretty thoughtful about when I feel Im entitled to expect her participation, and when Im not. a s h l e y. Hed ask me what Im doing for the weekend and when i started to tell him a selection of my actual plans hed cut me off while I was talking to make fun of how boring or lame I am or some other stupid comment. But I dont want to? Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* Its just small talk! If the answer is miserable but I dont want to get into it right now, fine-thanks still works. Thinking of seeing [movie]. More detailed/truthful responses are typically only shared with close friends or family. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THIS VIDEO. On the other end, I have a tactic for weekend planning. Him: Doing anything fun today? Because everybodys got something. The first time I heard this, I wondered who opened my brain while I was sleeping and pulled the song out and put it in a movie soundtrack. It's time to break the silence and let her know that she shouldn't be nosing into your business when her life isn't anything special. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. (So Tuesday is the only day safe from that question, ha. It changed how I felt about her for a long time. I should have specified that this particular woman was white, of a european background, and when she elaborated it was pretty clear that she was getting the I am genuinely curious about you variety of the question and not the You arent REALLY one of us implication. The hubs and I do the same. Shes right to find it othering and exhausting. single. Sorry friends, but bears, Zombies, whateverwe're gonna have to leave you behind. I always just say What do you have in mind? It hasnt failed me yet! If youre female and you answer, and then he decides your time sounds like it should be at his disposal and asks for a date, and you dont want to go, now youre stuck in that ugly probabilistic space where various sorts of threats, anger, and violence may be coming at you. And part of why Im asking is because maybe you just havent thought about it in those terms. Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. It makes you feel like whatever you do, you are expected to conform to being othered. You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course, and definitely use the Captains scripts and bat the ball back across the net with I dont know, how about you? But I wonder if it would help to make these interactions less frustrating for you if you tried not to think of them as someone trying to get something from you that you dont want to give. Alternatively were just going to have to start getting out of bed earlier so we dont run into them, but I suspect that if she realised we were doing that she might actually change her own schedule. There was definitely conflict where trying to balance and figure out fairness, safety, and compassion were difficult and sometimes heated. If youd rather not, I would love to immediately pretend this never happened and talk about dinosaurs for the next ten minutes, and then never bring it up again. Since LW was talking about very short-term questions, I certainly hope no one is asking because they need to tell the caterer! My blood pressure. And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) I mean, where are you REALLY from, but whats up is harder, since nothing/dont know tends to elicit a why not? or you should be/do more fun! And I dont know what to say to that, because no just seems rude and I didnt invite them to improve my life. Because as far as I can tell, youre saying you want to be treated with the closeness of family, only you seem pretty adamant you dont actually want to be family with her in the sense of two adults choosing to be together and support each other as family youre very clear that you want a relationship where you retain levels of dominance and control only suitable with a minor child. It is really really worth it for people in all possible situations to understand being ethical as something you need to work on and not as something you already are by default and need no guidance and no dialogue for. In that case I would begin with the duty: I need a babysitter. And even if she did pay money (not rentbut to share in the household expense, which is different from rent, even if it is the same amount of money), I would still consider her to be part of my family and as such why WOULDNT she pitch in when I needed her to? Tomorrow is the weekend! Invitations are not commands. @IndoorCatI appreciate your comments. And she might feel hurt that Id rather do nothing than do something with her. Sometimes I think if Im going to make something up it might as well be along the lines of going to the moon or whatever. Flip the question back on them. Because if she werent a family member, Id throw her out on her ear; she sure as hell wouldnt be in my home with all her stuff. 1, It feels rude not to ask back. If you can walk away from them, they're successful. Climbing mt laundry! But it can also just mean I love you and want to hear about things youre doing that youre excited about; it comes up all the time with friends who live far away! But it can still be frustrating to deal with. We do this so thoroughly that we then have to figure out how to re-train them so this doesnt put them at greater risk in the presence of predators, and we dont do that re-training thoroughly enough. Updog. I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend. And for that age range of teens into mid-twenties, its developmentally normal to not adult well in spaces/tasks/areas of endeavor where they cannot do so unsurveilled by childhood parental authority figures, but to abruptly adult extremely well and competently when freed from that surveillance. Why does it need taking care of?? Its either a soft opening for an invite or a general small talk questionand in both cases, Oh, not sure yet, how about you? is going to be one thousand percent fine. So finding out if you have plans at a given time becomes an underhanded way of tricking you into agreeing to something, like LW mentions in point number 2. That way your daughter can organize her time (which is an important adult skill) and gets some input on what is a chore and how important it is (which allows her to build other adult skills) and she wont get interrupted that much (which to you doesnt feel that way but her story looks probably very different). Oh, the usual, you? Which I guess was appropriately scary for the season? Funny Bumble Answers #4: Ironic, Nerdy-Cute Guy Others also have lives to plan and need to know (cancel event, find someone else, make other plans). It feels like they expect me to put in the majority of the effort, and it would be nice if once in a while instead of saying I dont see you enough they would say Would you be up for meeting up at the coffee shop on my town on Saturday if [their issues] allow? But its not something thats going to change, so I smile and nod at their noises and continue to plan things with them at exactly the rate I feel like doing so (including making extra effort if theyre going through a really tough thing). Other Half keeps the diary, I need to check.. And then if Im busy (in truth or not), I can say, Oh sorry. that sounds fun! WHAT WILL YOU DO AT THE WEEKEND?? I dont know what would do the most damage for NYCs daughter long-term, but I do know that no matter the form it ultimately takes, the preservation of parental lines of dominance into the adulthood of the child will do real damage long-term. She didnt have other plans; she just wanted to draw a line in the sand about him telling her what to do. You can begin with, "I hope this email finds you well," which has the same meaning as "Hope you are doing well". I have other plans. But if you just asked me if I have plans and I just admitted that I dont, then yeah, it can look pretty rude or hurtful if you invite me to something and I have to decline. Are you busy? I wish people could just say I want to do (thing) do you want to do (thing) with me?, All I can tell ya is what I have been doing for years: 3. And I agree that literally saying No, I dont want to get to know you better is a bit off. Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. I completely agree that when it comes to a duty (like babysitting) this question is somewhat unfair.